The hard and the good

Well folks, no word yet on who my next son will be. Bulgaria may have matched me and I just haven't heard yet or perhaps I'll have to wait until after Christmas to find out.

Not knowing is hard and waiting is getting old. These last two days were very hard and there have been a few tears shed that's for sure. But I will continue trusting God and having faith that the right son will find me!

In the mean time I've decided to drown my tears in iced tea and Subway. haha Silas and I went out and picked up some subs for supper. I got my usual tuna with bacon and he got the chicken breast one. I loaded them both up with veggies because it was time for Silas to eat raw veggies!!

When I got him 583 days ago (wow!!) I was told not to feed him solids because he can't chew. I threw that advice out the window and since then we've been on a journey towards Silas being able to eat every day regular foods.  He's now enjoying almost every type of food (not even pureed anymore!) with the exception of raw fruits and veggies and baked goods that are sweet. Oh and he has trouble with some meat if it has to be chewed a lot.

Well tonight he ate cucumbers, tomatoes, green pepper and lettuce!! I do believe we're not too far from him being able to sit down and eat a nice salad. It has been so encouraging to see him make progress in this area. The sound of him crunching down on the green pepper was music to my ears tonight.

Yesterday's highlight was going to the pool in the evening. We hadn't been there in ages because the hot tub wasn't open and Silas really needs the hot tub to warm up in. Yesterday the pool announced that the hot tub was working again so off to the pool we went! Silas had a blast and was so well behaved.

He learned to jump off the various benches in the pool into my arms! Jumping is one of his therapy goals. And by the end he was actually pushing off when he jumped and not just leaning towards my arms.  I also came up with a little game that he liked, to teach him "Wait".  I stood him on the bench in the hot tub and took a couple steps back. I held up one finger and said "Wait.....wait....wait.....GO!" And when I said go he could jump.  He caught on really fast and it was so much fun.

A very happy boy after his swim

 

Part of the reason he was so well behaved at the pool was because he was well rested thanks to a late nap that he gave himself. He was playing in the basement and I realized it was pretty quiet down there. So I checked on him and found him sound asleep on the floor.  It was pretty sweet. It felt like a bit of a milestone because he usually has to be in bed in order to fall asleep.

The other reason he was so well behaved is because he really loves the pool! I took a video of his reaction when I took the pool bag down. I have to keep it on a hook on the back of my door or he is constantly bringing it to me and putting it in my lap. lol

So the last two days have been full of joy mixed in with the disappointment of not hearing any news.  Whenever Silas meets a milestone I think of all of you who donated and prayed. Without you Silas would be a very different boy. I think I can paint a fairly accurate picture of what his life would be like today had he not been given a family.

When I got him at almost three years of age he was not sitting independently, not walking, not drinking, eating only purees (no lumps even), stimming constantly, he had scars and scabs from self harming and he was very underweight.

I recently learned that the remaining children from his orphanage, which was a temporary set up, were either moved to foster care or to another orphanage in a different town. This particular orphanage is becoming well known for having crib babies that weigh 10 lbs at 5 yrs old or older. They are not doing a great job obviously!

Silas would have been transferred to that orphanage and he would have been a crib baby because there's no way he would have been walking yet if he was still in an institutional setting.  In three years they couldn't even convince him that sitting up was a good idea. That's the sort of thing you need a family for.

He never would have gotten the surgery to put tubes in his ears that has improved his development so much these last few months. So he likely would have still been clawing at his fluid filled ears and wearing socks on his hands. He would have continued to be dehydrated because dehydrated kids use less diapers.

He would have likely still been only eating purees. He would be inches shorter and pounds lighter than he is now.

He certainly wouldn't be starting Kindergarten next fall!

He wouldn't know that he can have an opinion on things and make choices.

I don't say all this to bash Bulgarians. (They are a wonderful bunch of people but there are a few who need to be educated on what to expect a child with special needs to be able to do.)  

I say this so that you can know that if you donated to help get Silas home you can feel a sense of satisfaction that your dollars made a difference, a HUGE, possibly life saving difference, in one little boy's life. A life with a family is a million times better! And you made that possible whether you gave $2 or $2000, you played a role, so pat yourself on the back, you world changer, you. We love you!

Thinking Thoughts

What a month November has been! We have endured the stomach flu twice, Silas went on antibiotics for an infection, I did another auction, we went to the city twice and I had a birthday. 

No news yet on who my next little boy will be but I hope to hear something very soon. It could be any day at this point!

The auction was very successful and raised over $3100!  When combined with the sales of Brent Keno's awesome signs of $440 I am now down to needing less than $10000! It feels so good to be down to four digits. With a few more commissioned projects to finish up in the next couple weeks and the sale of these 5 felt trees I made, that will put me under $9000. Ahhhhh We're getting closer!

I only have ONE more of these custom made felt trees. They are made for small children to decorate and undecorated as they please. All the embellishments have been sewn on securely! The cost is $50 + $5 shipping and once this last one is sold then that's it for trees! I won't have time before Christmas to make any more.

 

 

All this wonderful support has got me thinking thoughts. Thoughts about how important you are to me. About how this would be so much more difficult without you. About how loved and encouraged I'm feeling. About how important it is to me that I am surrounded by people who understand or are trying to understand how to God wants us to love orphans in all sort of different ways.

 

And I just want to say thank you! And not in a light hearted "Hey Thanks" way, but in a deep, sincere and honest way. Sometimes thank you doesn't seem like enough to me. I'm sure if I was more eloquent I could come up with some other phrase to convey how much I appreciate all your help. But this is probably as good as it will get.  So thank you for being my "community" of friends and family. I hope you feel like your donations are going to a worthy cause in helping an orphan become a SON! It is SO worth it and this journey is made so much easier with you coming along side me and supporting me. :)

 

I hope I can share some exciting news about a referral very soon!

 

 

 

I've Been Submitted!

October 26th is turning out to be a pretty fantastic day. Not only is it my nephews 7th birthday but today I also found out that my dossier has been submitted to the Minister of Justice!  

 

My nephew

So what does that mean you ask?  Well, basically it means that my dossier is out of the hands of my agency and is being prepared to be matched with a child. It's a pretty HUGE step that gets me even closer to my boy. My heart leaped when I read the email this afternoon!

 

I was hoping to travel for the first trip yet this year but it's not looking too great for that. But that's okay! It'll all happen in God's time and that will give me a bit more time to raise the remaining less than $14000!   My expenses for this month were low and my income was higher so I was able to add a great amount of my paycheck to my savings and that gave the thermometer another boost last Friday. 

 

I know you all were expecting my auction to start today. It's going to be a fantastic auction but it won't happen for a couple more weeks.

 

Instead, for two weeks, I'll be doing an Uppercase Living fundraiser! Jensen Bardwell is the consultant and she's donating all 30-35% of her commission towards the adoption!

 

How cute is that Alphagator??! Just click on the picture and that should take you to the website where you can place your order. You'll need to let me know if you ordered so that I can tell Jensen to add your order to the calculations at the end of the fundraiser. There are SO many decals, you may have a hard time narrowing it down! This fundraiser will end on November 9th.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The auction will still happen and I'm still accepting donations if you'd like to help out with auction items. I've got some great stuff in it that you won't want to miss! I'm thinking it will start on November 12th. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And lastly Jamberry! There is still time to place an order. It will end on Wednesday. We had a glitchy weekend thanks to facebook being silly but the website is back up and running now so you can check out the catalogue online here:

 

 

If you want free shipping just message me on facebook with your order or email me at cwspider at mymts.net

 

 I do believe with the news I got today I've officially entered the second trimester of this "paper pregnancy" !

Auction Time Again!

My Jamberry fundraiser is going very well. If you'd like to order please get your order in soon! If you're local and you want free shipping just let me know what your order is and I'll be doing a bulk order.
If you're not local and you want reduced shipping ($2 vs $10) you can also let me know your order and I'll mail it out to you when it comes.

Click the picture to go to the event page. 

The last day to order is the end of the month but you can order any time you want.
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And now it's time to gear up for the next fundraiser. I'll be holding another auction on facebook from Oct 26th to Nov 5th. I've been busily making things and I've had friends mail me things to auction off but I still need more! This will be a great auction for you to find some Christmas gifts for friends and family. :o) 

Click the picture to go to the auction site. I'll be adding items in the following weeks and bidding starts on Oct 26th. Bring on the bidding wars! It's going to be exciting!

 

 

 

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Adoption Update

 

 

By the end of this week all my documents will be in Bulgaria. I had to redo two of them but as far as I know the rest are translated and everything should be on the Minister of Justice's desk by the end of the month. After that I'll just wait patiently for a referral. Once the referral comes I'll hop on an airplane (or three) and fly to meet my new little man!  I will try to pack years worth of loving in just 5 days and then I'll come back home.  Once I pass court I'll get back on a plane and bring him home with me where he will meet the rest of his family. He'll be grand child #9!

 

I was thinking recently about the titles a person has to describe them. Right now my little man has one title only. "Orphan".  How sad! But once the judge signs the papers to make him mine he will instantly become: Grandson! Great grandson! Cousin! Nephew! Brother! Son! What a wonderful day that will be!

 

If you'd like to play a part in that miraculous transformation from orphan to son please consider making a donation to my YouCaring site on the right of this page. Every donation is like one more person joining hands to reach from Canada to Bulgaria from me to my son!

 

 

Rummage Sale Results

The rummage sale and bake sale was held this past Saturday down at the museum. I'd say it was a smashing success! Hundreds of people came through the door and the baking was totally gone by 2.

 

 The reporter from the paper stopped by and took some photos and then the local radio station came by for a radio interview, not live thankfully!

We even had the Liberal party stop by and donate! They were out campaigning and heard what was going on and were excited to meet me.

Many people told us to keep the change when they paid and quite a few people happily added bills to the donation jar. 

I had so many great helpers.  I think there was 15 different people that lent a had where they could, including mom who was on Silas duty for over 24 hrs thanks to my night shift at the weekend job.
I lost track of the number of people who donated things to sell.  We even had people bringing stuff DURING the sale! lol

Things went very smoothly and I'd say it was my least stressful sale to date.

Anyways, the reason you're reading this is to see how much was raised right???

The grand total, after paying for the museum rental, was.........$2203!   Praise the Lord! That puts me over the half way mark now! Less than $15000 to raise!

Seeing as there's a very good chance that I'll be traveling on trip one yet this year, and I'll have all the expenses for reaching that stage plus travel, I'd like to keep this momentum going.

So my friend Litia Maclean is running a Jamberry fundraiser for me. This is quite the departure for me and a little out of my comfort zone but I'm willing to do nearly anything to get my little man home!  I'm not fancy! Like at all. But at some point this week I'm going to put Jamberry nail wraps on for the very first time. Gulp. There I said it and it's on the internet so it must be true! lol

If you'd like to see my attempt at fancy then click the picture below and join the party.  20% of each order goes towards the adoption! Go check it out. Litia is going to be posting all sorts of fun things this week.

Rummage Sale - because Rummage is fun to say

4:28am Monday morning - Brain turns on. Eyes pop open. Inner dialogue begins.

"There's a lot to do in the next few months. I'm exhausted. I need to sleep. Come on brain, let me sleep."

 "But how are you going to get it all done? There's so much. A huge yard sale. Have you seen how much is in your basement? That's going to be a lot of work. And what if you can't have it at the museum? Then what? What if you get it all to the museum and no one shows up to buy anything?

And you still have so much money to raise. Like $17000. You need to think of more fundraisers. Don't go back to sleep. We need to think about this."

"It'll all work out. Just trust God. He knows what he's doing. He knows I can't do it alone. So He's going to help.  'I lift my eyes up to the mountains- where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of Heaven and earth.'  See, He's going to help."

"But there's so much to do and you're so tired."

"Yes so let's go to sleep."

"But how about a fundraiser in November? Like a home based business show like for Silas' adoption? And you need to hurry up and get things organized for the auction. You still need to make more things to sell in the auction and you need to ask people for auction donations again. And you need to take pictures of all the auction stuff. We should go do that now. Come on let's get up. And don't forget about the fact that you could very well be traveling yet this year for trip one. How is that going to go? What if you plan a fundraiser and end up traveling during that time? It's too much. You're going to wear out."

"Hush, hush.  Just trust. It's going to be okay. 'I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.'  I can do alllll things through Christ. Even hard things like this. God created me to do hard things. This is my hard thing. It's going to be okay!"

"But all that stuff in the basement....and you need to advertise."

"Lord, I'm worried I won't be able to do this well. Please help me to do this in a way that glorifies You. Help me show people that I am not amazing but that what they see is your awesome power shining through me, enabling me to carry on through the hard things. I know I can't do this without You, Lord. Thank you for using me. Thank you for giving me such a blessing for a son and please be with my other little boy on the other side of the world and keep him safe. Amen."

7am - The alarm goes off.  I'm still awake. Getting up is going to be very hard. But a little boy stirs in the next room. And then I hear it.
"Grrrrrrrr. Hehehehehehe. Grrrrrrrr hehehehehe. Grrrrrr hehehehehe". 
My little man has discovered how funny it is to make growling sounds. And I got to wake up to the sweetest little giggle in the world. Getting up wasn't hard at all after that! He is such a blessing.

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Fundraising Update

Things are falling into place for the rummage sale. It will be held on Oct 3rd at the Swan Valley Museum. Just one day only, from 9-4.

Ways you can help (and I REALLY need your help)

1.) Donate items to sell.

2.) Come help me price things in my basement or come play with Silas while I price things.

3.) Come on Friday evening (Oct 2nd) to help take everything from my basement to the museum and help set it up.

4.) Come on Saturday and hang out with me and help run the sale. The more helpers the better!

5.) Come at 4pm on Saturday and help pack the leftover stuff up.

6.) Tell everyone you know about the sale. It's going to be epic! I have well over 20 tables worth of things to sell. And it's priced to sell! I want everyone to walk away with a deal or ten. ;o)

7.)Bake something for the bake sale. I figure I should make the most of this event and location and run a bake sale at the same time. Any donations of baked items would be appreciated! Let me know ahead of time if you're planning on doing this so I know what I'll be looking at as far as how many bake sale items there will be.

This is going to be one of my major fundraisers. I'm trusting that the reason my basement flooded and I couldn't have the sale in August is because God knew that having it indoors at a different location would make it more successful.

 

Fall is upon us

 

Time is flying! Summer is over and the weather is getting cooler. The adoption process is whizzing along. It's time for a blog update!

Silas

Silas had a busy September long weekend and then he had surgery on the 8th.  We traveled 5 hrs to the city in order to have our pre-admit appointment on the 4th (Friday) because Monday was a holiday. So we got to be in the city for the whole long weekend. I love all the friends and family that I have there but the city itself is not my favourite place. Too many people, too much traffic, too much construction and too much everything really.  I much prefer my small town life!

After his appointment on Friday morning we went back to my brother's house and by the evening Silas had developed a cold. Ugh! I was so worried that all the travel and time off work would be for nothing because they would cancel the surgery if he was too sick. He really needed those ear tubes.  I was using essential oils on him and praying and I had a group of friends praying too.  The interesting thing is with this illness everyone else who got it developed a bad cough.  A cough or fever = no surgery.   Silas never got much of a cough! He didn't really cough until the day after his surgery and even then it wasn't nearly as bad as the rest of us.  I caught it too and I've been coughing my head off for a week now. 

So all those prayers and essential oils worked and Silas got tubes put in his ears and all that nasty fluid that had been sitting there for a long time (years probably) was all drained out! Yay!

He wasn't a happy camper when he first woke up from the anesthesia but he calmed down once I was able to hold him and cuddle him.  Once we went back upstairs to the recovery room he drank lots of water and ate FOUR apple sauces! He was a hungry boy. 

We had to stay one more night in the city and then we headed home the next morning. I'm very thankful that we were so well taken care of at my brother and sister in law's house.  From amazing meals that my sister in law seems to whip up effortlessly to the cold meds my brother was able to get me.  And we got to spend some great time with my nieces and nephew and also celebrate my sister Sara's birthday.

Thanks to those ear tubes an amazing thing happened this weekend. I told Silas to walk through the gate while I pushed the bike. He walked through the gate and then kept on trucking down the driveway. I called him to come back......and he heard me! And he turned around and came back!! As far as I can remember he's never responded to me calling him from that far away before. God is so good!

Here Silas, I'll show ya how to work it.

Auntie Sara turns 25!

Adoption Progress

Things are moving along so smoothly for this adoption. It's so much more relaxing the second time around because I know the process and what to expect this time.


Right now my dossier is in Bulgaria being translated. Once that is done then it will be logged in with the Minister of Justice and I wait for a referral. It could be just a couple months before I find out who my next little boy will be!

Yes, that's right, in two months I could have pictures of my little boy! He won't be a mystery anymore!


 Fundraising

Despite sickness in July and basement flooding in August.....and more sickness and surgery in Sept my little red thermometer keeps on climbing! It's been amazing to watch God move people's hearts and be inspired by watching what He's doing with the adoption. I think having Silas here as evidence that adoption changes lives has helped too! There's still a long ways to go in not a very long time but God is faithful and he will provide! I've estimated that there is a minimum of 8 mths left to go but that depends on many variables.

 

I will be holding another yard sale (possibly indoors) later this month. I can now accept donations of yard sale items again. The fixing up of the basement after the flood will wait until after the sale. So if you'd like to donate anything just let me know. I can pick it up or you can drop it off, whichever is easiest for you!

A friend, Litia, is going to be organizing a Jamberry fundraiser for me the first week of October!

After the Jamberry fundraiser I'm going to be doing another auction on facebook. I've been busy sewing and gathering items for that. If you have anything to donate to the auction it would be very much appreciated! The last auction raised over $3000. Maybe I should aim for $5000 this time??  ;o)  There will be many great items in it that will help you cross some things off your Christmas gift shopping I'm sure.

Other things I've been doing to raise money are picking up extra shifts at my weekend job (a huge thank you to mom for watching Silas for those extra hours), taking on evening childcare and doing my best to stick to a budget. I'm also working hard on several more fundraising ideas.

 

On Thursday I was interviewed by a reporter at the local newspaper. They heard that I am adopting again and wanted to talk about it. I figured some good PR couldn't hurt! lol I tried to focus on Christ being the reason for adopting and talked about how God has provided for Silas' adoption and this adoption. I'm not sure how long the article will be but look for it in this weeks paper!  It's a good thing it wasn't a radio interview because I was having coughing fits the whole time. lol  Talking for 20 mins straight with a cold will do that I guess!

Mr. Serious

Mr. Silly

I hope you enjoyed seeing these pictures. Most of them were taken by my sister in law when we were down for Silas' surgery. Thanks again Carla!

Matching Grant Met!

Yay! We met the matching grant! Exceeded it actually, which is awesome!

Now let me tell you where the matching grant came from. Who is this mystery donor??

When I started the process of adopting Silas I joined a lot of facebook groups about adoption. In one of those groups I met a single woman who is from Canada and was just starting the process to adopt a boy with Down Syndrome from Bulgaria! We had so much in common that we ended up friending each other and a beautiful friendship began. Her name is Heather and she brought her adorable son Wyatt home Feb of this year.

Wyatt's first birthday in Canada was in July. He turned 8! Instead of presenting her family and friends with a list of gifts that Wyatt could use Heather told all the invitees to donate money toward MY adoption! How selfless is that! And then she presented it as a matching grant to encourage more donations! Thank you Heather!

I haven't even met Heather in real life yet but that's totally going to happen sometime next year. Even if it means me going all the way to Vancouver Island on my own with two kids! lol

So now that the matching grant has been met (thank you everyone who contributed to that <3 ) my thermometer is over $14000! Less than $2000 to go and we'll be half way there.

There isn't much to share adoption news related. I haven't heard if I've gotten the letter of approval from the province yet but I have heard that as of last Thursday they were working on it so surely it'll happen this week.  I'll keep you updated!

Trials and tribulations of the country bumpkin

Can you believe we're almost half way through August?? Where did summer go? Here's what we've been up to!

Everything Silas

Opening presents at the family birthday party



A book? Yay!

 

The feeding clinic said "I'm" doing a great job with Silas' eating. Here I thought it was Silas that was doing so good and it was me all along! haha Unless he stops progressing they don't think they'll need to see him again.

Cardiology said his heart looks exactly the same as last year. Still a little bit narrow on one valve but they don't want to see us again for three years! Whoot!

He's walking so fast now! I have to hustle to keep up with him sometimes. It's so neat to see him walking around with toys in his hands. He no longer has to have his arms out to balance. He also seems to be understanding more of what we tell him so that's been encouraging. The speech therapist is working on a Picture Exchange Communication system for him. He caught on to that pretty quickly at our last appointment.


All things Corinna



The whole family 

I think I've finally recovered from the plague. It was terrible and I don't recommend it at all. I'm finally getting my energy back bit by bit.

I've had some interesting trials the last couple weeks.  There's a saying in the adoption world, "You know you're adopting when......". It seems like a lot of families are hit with unusual expenses when they start an adoption. I didn't really see that with Silas' adoption but I have been this time.

When I took Silas to his cardiology appointment in the city we were running a bit late so I decided to park on the street. I looked at the signs carefully so I wouldn't be breaking the rules. I didn't want to get a ticket! I paid for my parking and it seemed like I did it all right.....but when I came out of the appointment the van was gone! Vanished into thin air!

I was sure it must have been stolen because I'd been so careful about parking. After a run around with different people on the phone and making a new friend named Suren (Hi Suren if you've found my blog!) and some tears (Oh I fought those tears hard! But some of them leaked out) I was able to find out that I had been towed! What???!! Turns out I hadn't looked at alllll the signs and I'd parked too close to a bus stop. Opps.

So I put my big girl panties on and hailed a taxi for the first time in Canada and took Silas through the city with no car seat or seat belt to where the van was. Did you know even taxi drivers want a tip now? This whole tipping thing has gotten way out of hand. Another rant for another day.

So, $86 for the tow, $35 for the parking ticket and $10 for the taxi (yes I did tip him. lol). Lesson learned by this country bumpkin!

And then exactly one week later my washing machine decided it would be a great time to malfunction and flood the entire basement. I walked around through the water with my hands on my head just stunned. I ended up having to call a flood restoration crew and some friends and family to help clean it up. I don't know what I would have done without them. I have some pretty awesome friends and family!  All my yard sale stuff is in storage now along with all my daycare toys and everything else from the basement. I'll know more about what work needs to be done to get the basement back in order later this week. About the only thing I lost was the rug and dad was able to fix the washing machine.

So these things have been a bit discouraging but I fought back and I didn't stay down for long.

Matching Grant and Fundraising

The yard sale will still happen at some point. I'm temporarily stopping taking donations of things to sell until I know more about what needs done in the basement.



Visiting an old school house at the museum

I made a purple thermometer for our matching grant! Did you see it? I've had $22 donated towards it so far. One of my sweet little daycare girls brought a toonie ($2) the other day.  <3 <3 <3  I also have heard of one cheque coming my way of an undisclosed amount so once I get that the thermometer will get bumped up again. I hope to finish it off by the end of the month.

Adoption Progress

Things are chugging slowly along. I should get provincial approval this week and then my dossier will be off to Bulgaria to be translated. And then I wait (hopefully not too long) to find out who my son is! So I'm almost at the end of the first trimester of this paper pregnancy. ;o)

My next blog post will be about fundraising with teddy bears and baby clothes! Stay tuned!

We Have A Matching Grant!

Fundraising Update

Yesterday while I was working a 35 hr shift at my weekend job, I was contacted by a friend who told me she has a matching grant for me of $150!

A Matching Grant means that once $150 has been donated towards the adoption by awesome people like you, my friend will donate another $150!   When the red thermometer reaches $13775 the match will be met.

The story about where this matching grant came from is amazingly sweet.....but I'm going to keep it a secret until the match is met. hehe

Your donations can be made to the YouCaring account over there >>>>>
Or by mail or in person. Every dollar is a blessing and I so appreciate every person who is moved to help. I'm so worried that I've missed thanking people. If you've been missed I'm sorry and Thank YOU! I wouldn't be a mother without people like you and I really love being a mom!


Yard Sale #2
I've decided that August 21st will be a great day to hold the second yard sale. I'm still accepting donations of things to sell. I can come pick them up if that makes it easier. :)


Silas Update

Silas and I have been having a pretty good summer, with the exception of me being sick most of July!  I'm still not 100% so that's why I've been pretty quiet with fundraising updates.

This past weekend we took in the fair rides and the parade.  What a difference a year makes! He was so much more interested in the parade floats and was able to go on more rides this year.

This week we have Speech Therapy and then two appointments in the city.  Feeding clinic and Cardiology. I'm not worried about the Feeding Clinic appointment. He's been doing great with eating!
As for cardiology....well....I really hope they say he's doing great and to come back in a year.  I think he's doing great but I don't have the fancy machines to see what his heart is doing! lol  ;)

Riding the carousel

 

Watching the parade

On the Ferris wheel

The Day My Heart is Most Conflicted

Happy Birthday to my Special Boy!

You are 4 today!

 

 

 

I know! I can't believe it either! Four!

 

 

You take the cake!

You're such a funny guy!

 

 

Mommy loves you VERY much!

 

 

So let's hold hands and walk....

 

through this big old world together. <3

 

 

 

 

Like the title of this post says, today is a day of conflicted feelings for me.  This is the day that my son entered the world! Yay!

 

But this is also the day that his birth mother found out he was "less than perfect" and made the heart breaking decision to leave him at the hospital. Oh what his little heart must have gone through.

Where was the voice that he heard while he was in the womb? Where were the warm arms to hold him and keep him safe? Thinking of him so alone breaks my heart. 

And yet....
If she hadn't left him behind I wouldn't ever have known the joy of being his mother.  The smiles and giggles. The kisses and (short) snuggles. The laugher as he crawls away from me and I chase him down.

Maybe one day his birthday will be 100% happy feelings but for now there is still a bit of sadness mixed in with the joy.....for me anyways. Looking at the pictures from today it's clear that he's feeling pretty happy with how his life is turning out.

100% J-O-Y

 

Updates on the happenings

So much has happened since I last posted.  The home study is done! Finito! It couldn't have gone any better than it did. I was wondering how I would convince the social worker that I could parent two special needs boys as a single parent. In the end the social worker I was assigned happened to be a single mother who had raised two adopted children! So she understood exactly where I was coming from and she said she had no hesitation in approving me to adopt a second child. :)  She also had some words of wisdom about having men in the boys' lives and about taking care of myself.

With the home study done and signed at the end of May I've been working on gathering all the documents for the dossier. I had to pass a medical exam and go for blood work. The only abnormality that showed up was anemia due to low iron. That seems to be something I've had all my life so I'll go back on the iron pills and see if that helps.

I'm just waiting for one last blood test result and then I can mail everything to the adoption agency. Then it will all be sent to the province for approval and then on to Bulgaria for translation! After that it will be logged in with the Minister of Justice and I'll (try) wait patiently for a referral. Once I get a referral I'll have a bit more of a time line. Until then I have no idea when I'll be bringing my son home.

It's hard not knowing who he is, how old he is, what he looks like and where he is. I think it's going to get a little bit harder every day. When I think about him I can't even conjure up a picture of him in my mind and yet he's a real boy who exists somewhere on the other side of the world! It's a weird feeling for sure.  I went through the same feelings before I got the referral for Silas and I survived so I imagine I will this time too. ;o)

May 8th was Gotcha Day and May 20th marked one year in Canada.
Photo on the left is at the airport last year and the photo on the right was taken at the Ds conference this year.

It is a bit different this time though. I have this wonderfully busy, almost 4 yr old, to keep my mind off things! He's such an amazing kid. In a year he's gone from eating only purees and not being able to sit up to eating only solids and walking! That's right! He's a walker now! He's getting braver and braver with walking the last few days.

We saw an ENT last month and she says he needs tubes in his ears because they are full of fluid. I'm hoping that once he gets those he'll be able to hear more and then maybe he'll start talking or at least start to communicate a bit better. No surgery date yet but I think it could be sometime this summer. It'll be the first time I've had to hand him over to a surgeon so I'm not sure how I'll handle it. Lots of prayer for starters!

We had such a busy month of May, holding the auction, preparing for the big yard sale, road trip to Edmonton for the Down syndrome conference and then another road trip to Winnipeg to see family and go to the ENT appointment.


Swinging with Uncle on our visit to the city for the ENT appointment.

The auction on facebook had some great items and some fun bidding wars. It raised over $3000! I'm so happy with how that turned out that I'm planning another one for the fall.

The Down syndrome conference was something I signed up to go to in January, before I started the adoption. Once I started the adoption I questioned whether I should have signed up to go. It was going to cost about $1000 to drive there, attend the conference and pay for the hotel. But as usual God always provides! I found out that the Manitoba DS society was reimbursing the conference registration for it's members so that was $370 back. Then I wrote a letter to the board of my weekend job (which has to do with special needs adults) offering to attend a session of their choice in exchange for some monetary support. I wasn't sure if I'd get anything but I thought it would be worth a shot. And it was! The amount from the board covered the hotel and most of the gas for travel. So I was able to attend the conference for almost free.

And what a blessing the conference turned out to be. I was able to meet friends I'd only been in contact with on facebook before. They were as normal in real life as they seemed to be on facebook. Not crazy at all! lol I learned so much from the sessions as well. And I made new friends! There were quite a few adoptive moms there. It was a great experience for both me and Silas. He did great during all the travel and sleeping in new places. I was so proud of him. :)

June hasn't been much slower....well maybe a tad. We had a very big and very successful yard sale the first weekend that raised over $1600! That's almost twice as much as each yard sale raised for Silas' adoption so I was very pleased.  I'm planning another one for later in the summer so I'll be accepting more items to sell again if you have anything you'd like to get rid of!

Oh and the bubble bath fundraiser went really well too! $210 was raised. That's a whole lotta bubble bath! Thanks to everyone who bought and thanks to Mae and Mom who organized that!

So that's about where things stand folks! Over $12000 raised and saved in just over two months! Wow! God has provided for this adoption just like He did for Silas'. I'm so thankful for everyone who has helped with the fundraisers and who has donated.  It's amazing to think that we're already 1/3rd of the way there. :oD

Stay tuned for some more fundraisers in the coming weeks and months!

Keep Calm I'm going to be a big brother!

Super Extravaganza Auction Fundraiser!

My next BIG fundraiser is going to be an online auction on facebook! I'm looking for items to auction off. If you have anything you'd like to donate it would be most appreciated. 

 

Here's the link to the auction

https://www.facebook.com/groups/959029977453957/

 

I'm still working on getting things listed and set up.

 

 

 

Silas and landmark recognition!

Well folks, it finally happened. The weather got warm enough for us to spend hours outside! Silas and I have had quite the active day.

First we went to the pool for a little more than an hour this morning. Silas is really starting to get the hang of moving in the water. He was kicking and trying to go forward. And I had him work on his walking in the kiddie pool.

Then we had lunch and Silas napped.

After nap we pulled out the bike and went for a bike ride then played outside.

Then we ate supper and went back outside for another long bike ride/walk all the way to the post office.

Then we played outside and Silas used his toy walker to walk.

 

And this is where it gets interesting! The whole point of this blog post.

 

As we were walking down the muddy back lane Silas made it clear that he wanted to go to the playground, which he could see from where we were. He tried to make a direct path there but the fence was in the way. He got so excited when he realized that I understood that he wanted to go to the playground and that my redirection to walk further down the lane (to get to the gate) would get us there.

 

Once we got there he wanted to take his walker up the stairs! haha Funny boy.  He was nearly successful too.



 

And now for part 2.

 

Silas and the daycare kids attend a weekly preschool program called Better Beginnings at the school. Silas really seems to enjoy it, especially the time we spend in the gym. We almost always use the same entrance. 

So tonight while we were at the playground I thought we should walk on the cement that is around the school. Nice and dry and no mud, easy to push his walker.

 

Well! We sure didn't get very far! As soon as we started walking Silas made a beeline for the Better Beginnings door. He was insistent that we go in that door and play with the toys. He was trying to open the door himself and was quite upset at my attempts to redirect him to walk some more. I tried explaining that BB was "all done" using words and signs. I showed him how all the lights were off in the room and no one was there. It took a good 5+ mins to convince him that we couldn't go to Better Beginnings. Finally he climbed up into my arms and let me take him home. He rested his tired little head on my shoulder most of the way home. Awwww!  

 So it's neat to see Silas remembering places we've been and wanting to go there again.

Another "first" tonight was keeping a hat/toque on that doesn't have a chin strap! Usually if it doesn't have a chin strap he whips it off and throws it away. I've been trying to get him to wear this toque for a week now. I'm not sure why tonight was different but I'll take it!

 

After a quick snack and a bath Silas went to bed and fell asleep within seconds. Zonked right out! I'm sure we'll have just as much fun playing tomorrow. :)

Exciting News!

I just got word from my homestudy agency that my homestudy could be complete and ready to sign by the end of May! That's a lot sooner than I thought it would be!

But that means I'm going to have to start paying the big fees soon. I think I'll need about $6000 by the end of May/beginning of June.  You can see by the thermometer that I'm several thousand dollars away from that still.  I've also created another tab up there ^^^ (Fee Breakdown) that lists all the various fees and expenses so you can see where the money goes to.

Right now I have this Avon Bubble Bath fundraiser going on.

 

 

 

Garage sale

I also am still looking for garage sale items. If you're doing some spring cleaning I'll gladly take anything you want to get rid of! I'm planning on having the first sale on the first weekend in June.

 

Online Auction

This is something I thought of doing for Silas' adoption but then ended up getting fully funded before I had a chance to set it up.

Basically it's an online auction in a facebook group. I'm looking for people to donate items that can be auctioned off.  These can be craft items, new items you bought and haven't used and direct sales products (Scentsy, Jamberry, etc). It would be really great to get as many items donated as possible to make it a successful auction.

I will give credit to each donator unless you wish to remain anonymous. If you have an etsy store or website I can link to that in the description of the item you've donated.  

In the next few days I'll get the facebook page set up and start adding items. I'm pretty excited about this auction! I hope it will raise several thousand dollars!

 



Going for a walk!

Silas has a little toy walker that he uses to help him walk. On Saturday I took it outside and got some video of him walking and RUNNING with it. We did it again today (sunday) and he did even better.  I hope we can soon leave the walker behind and have him walk without it. Right now he could do it I think but he's just not quite confident enough yet.

It's a bit long (4 mins) and yes I did let him walk into a tree at the end. Opps!

Letter Announcement

This is the letter I sent out to family and friends announcing the next adoption. If you didn't get a copy I'm sorry you were left out! You can read it all here.
I decided it would be nice to announce it with a letter first this time around.

Adding an Ampersand

That's right!

I am so excited to announce that Silas is going to be a brother!

 

Ummm...no I'm NOT pregnant.

 

But I AM adopting again!

 

I have started the process for another little boy with special needs from Bulgaria.

 

We don't know who he is yet and we can hardly wait to find out!

 

My next post will be a copy of the letter that I sent out to as many people as I could. It explains why I'm going back so soon and what the process will be like. :)

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

Good things

Silas ate some popcorn! A sort of crunchy food! He didn't think too much of it but he chewed and swallowed two pieces.

I got about 15 seconds of solid eye contact from Silas at breakfast this morning. We're working on it!

He has learned to pucker up for kisses instead of doing it with a wide open slobbery mouth!

Well, it's a bit slobbery yet. Note the drop of drool on his chin! He was looking at the camera out of the corner of his eye too because this was about the 15th take and he was anticipating the camera shutter. I'm terrible at selfies! lol

We're getting a referral to an ENT who will hopefully give us some insight into what we need to do to help him hear better.

The Bad

Two weeks ago Silas started self harming again. He went two months without gouging at his cheeks. I really thought we were in the clear. So naïve I am.
There was something stressful that happened to him a couple weeks ago where he felt unsafe and scared and I think that that is the cause of this episode. He takes his thumb and just digs into his cheek and works at it until he draws blood. And then he cries because it hurts. But he doesn't cry while he's doing it. This afternoon I thought he was sleeping because it was quiet. I was going to have a shower but I thought I'd better check on him first. Good thing I did! He'd gotten out of his elbow restraints (more on that later) and had been plucking at his other cheek. So now both cheeks are a mess, though one is much worse than the other.

I ended up buying some of these elbow restraints http://snugglewraps.com/

But they will take two weeks to get here at least. So I made some of my own. They don't stay on very well but they're sort of working for now.

I'm also using essential oils on him to help calm him.

And various lotions on his face to help it heal.

The worst cheek was almost healed until last night when mom was here and I was at work. In the early morning he got both restraints off and he made a real mess of his cheek.  He must have been at it for a while because by the time he finally cried mom said there was dried blood on his face. :( 

It's just so hard to see your baby hurt himself like this.  When he has the restraints on he's pretty much his happy little self but as soon as they come off his hands go right to his face.

And that brings me to The Ugly.

Not that I'd ever call him ugly, but the wound on his face certainly doesn't look pretty! This cheek was almost healed until last night.

And to make matters worse he's now developed a cold this weekend! So his cheeks hurt, his eyes are watering and his nose is running, he's all stuffed up and can't breath AND he's got these stinking things on his arms to stop him from touching his face! I feel so bad for him. :(

This too shall pass! I love him so.