Happy Birthday to my Special Boy!
You are 4 today!
I know! I can't believe it either! Four!
You take the cake!
You're such a funny guy!
Mommy loves you VERY much!
So let's hold hands and walk....
through this big old world together. <3
Like the title of this post says, today is a day of conflicted feelings for me. This is the day that my son entered the world! Yay!
But this is also the day that his birth mother found out he was "less than perfect" and made the heart breaking decision to leave him at the hospital. Oh what his little heart must have gone through.
Where was the voice that he heard while he was in the womb? Where were the warm arms to hold him and keep him safe? Thinking of him so alone breaks my heart.
And yet....
If she hadn't left him behind I wouldn't ever have known the joy of being his mother. The smiles and giggles. The kisses and (short) snuggles. The laugher as he crawls away from me and I chase him down.
Maybe one day his birthday will be 100% happy feelings but for now there is still a bit of sadness mixed in with the joy.....for me anyways. Looking at the pictures from today it's clear that he's feeling pretty happy with how his life is turning out.
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| 100% J-O-Y |
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